Just the Facts
by rachyzord
Summary: Wonder Woman receives an email. Fluffiness.


**Just the Facts**

Diana wiped the tears away from her eyes and gasped a little as she repositioned herself back in the chair in Bruce's study. She had just come in to check her email and couldn't believe the one she had received from an 'anonymous' sender (aka: Flash). Her sides hurt something fierce and she decided to go and get a drink before she continued on with her emailing.

Leaving the computer on, she left the study and headed towards the kitchen.

Bruce made his way up from the Batcave. Wayne Corp was in the middle of a large deal with three other companies and he was expecting important emails regarding it and moved into the study. His computer was already on. He arched a brow, Diana was nowhere to be found and he surmised she must have gone to bed until he moved around and began reading the email that was up on the screen.

_Hospitals are also known as "Bruce Wayne Recovery Centers". This applies doubly to the maternity wards._

_Underneath his cowl, there isn't a face. there is only another fist._

_Women don't fantasize about Bruce Wayne. They think back._

_The boogeyman checks his closet every night for Batman_

_Bruce Wayne got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant._

_Batman is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time._

His brows arched as he scrolled down further.

_Batman destroyed the periodic table of the elements, claiming the only element Bruce Wayne recognizes is the element of surprise._

_There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Batman has allowed to live._

He chuckled a little.

_Batman doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants._

_Outer space only exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Batman._

_Batman doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is._

Diana walked in and nearly dropped her glass as she saw Bruce hovering over the chair reading the screen.

He turned with a deadpan look on his face. "Who sent this?"

"Anonymous sender..."

He looked down at it again. "The only element Batman recognizes is the element of surprise." He began to laugh. "That's priceless."

"Batman doesn't need to pick locks or even kick down doors. Doors break down ahead of him out of sheer respect." she smirked.

He laughed even harder and continued to scroll down. "Oh gods... this one's incredible. Batman has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO."

"I like the one after that. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Batman has 72… and they're all deadly." she began to snicker again.

He burst out laughing. "Forward this to Clark. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Batman pajamas."

"They also surmise that Batman grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage." Diana sat down before she fell down and spilled her drink all over herself.

He moved his hand to his eyes and wiped the tears that were flowing. "This might be the greatest list ever created." He continued to scroll down, dropping to his knees with laughter. "Batman doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

She snorted. "There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Batman lives in Gotham."

He sucked in a breath and held his ribs. "The original draft of the Lord of the Rings featured Batman instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only five pages long, as Batman kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter."

Diana's drink was slopping dangerously close to the rim as she shook with laughter "Batman once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink."

He burst out laughing, putting his head down and unable to even read the line. He pointed at the screen as Diana looked over to read it. "Superman once watched an episode of Batman and cried himself to sleep."

She smirked at the last factoid "There is no 'ctrl' button on the Batcomputer. Batman is always in control." She looked down at the keyboard and smirked wider.

**Fin**


End file.
